STRANGER DAYS AHEAD
by Kumoko235
Summary: SEQUEL to STRANGER THAN FICTION. Stranger -OC- once again finds himself stranded in the strange land, but things are not as they seem. Rated T for Violence, Some Language


**A/N The first story turned out so well I just had to do a sequel. As of now, I don't plan anymore for this series. Depends on how well received it is. Please review, commented, whatever. Makes me feel proud when people leave even just a small message.**

**NOTE: Stranger, as for some other characters, are all original. Won't say you. Figure that out yourself.**

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><p><strong>STRANGER DAYS AHEAD<strong>

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><p><strong>Back to Start<strong>

"Hey! HEY! Are you okay? Wake up!"

Stranger opened his eyes. A young girl leaned in above him, her round face close to his, her sapphire eyes staring down into his own. The girl reminded him of the niece he had not seen in quite some time. He wondered briefly when they would meet again. He couldn't wait to return home. To see familiar faces.

But then the gravity of the situation hit, blindsiding Stranger like a speeding truck. He shot up into a sitting position, startling the girl and causing her to fall back into the damp sand. Sand that covered an upsettingly familiar shoreline.

"You okay, honey?" asked a white and coffee colored cat that rushed to the aid of the young girl.

The girl brushed the clinging sand from her teal skirt as she stood. "Yeah. I'm fine. Told you he wasn't dead yet."

Stranger was on his feet now, staring out at the blue ocean that foamed just inches from where he stood. Wreckage floated in on the surf, sliding partway up the beach before being washed back out to sea. Wreckage that had once been his boat. His newly constructed boat.

He pulled down on the tattered hat that sat atop his head, trying to contain the rising terror that swelled up inside of him. A battle that he was losing. "No, no, no, no, no, no..." He then yelled out a series of expletives that were foreign to the ears of the young girl and her cat friend.

"I think we should go," urged the cat, pushing the girl away from the visibly upset stranger.

"But what if he needs our help?" rebuffed the girl, planting her feet firmly in the sand.

"Girl, we don't wanna catch that brand of crazy he has."

"But look at him."

Stranger had fallen to his knees in despair, sinking into the wet sand. He could remember it all so clearly: the shipwreck, the strange land, the stranger people, the whirlpool.

Whirlpool?

Stranger repeatedly slammed a closed fist into the damp sand, cursing his string of horrendous luck. Freedom from this strange land, the Land of Ooo, had been obtained only hours earlier. Now he was back, returned by a freak act of nature, once again washed ashore to a bizarre land that offered no explanation for its existence.

"Are you okay?" asked the girl, concern splayed across her cherub face. She placed a hand on his shoulder. The man jumped from her touch. He had forgotten that she was there, having been lost completely in his anguish.

"He's fine. Now let's go or we're gonna be late," stated the cat.

"But...," began the girl, but she was cut off be the feline.

"You promised to help out at the Candy Kingdom today. You can't do that from way out here, now can you?"

A thought crossed Stranger's mind. The Candy Kingdom. The princess. Princess Bubblegum! She had helped him before, maybe she would do so again. She had to understand that whirlpools were very difficult to avoid sometimes. She would understand, and she would give Stranger another boat, and then he could be gone from the place once and for all.

Stranger stood suddenly and turned to face the girl, a look of grim determination in his dark eyes. "I need to get to the Candy Kingdom. Which way is it?"

"The Candy Kingdom?" The girl smiled, her slightly enlarged front teeth complimenting the white rabbit-themed hat that she wore. "We were just on our way to the Candy Kingdom. Why don't you come with us?"

The cat pulled the girl away from the strange man. "Are you sure that's a good idea? My _crazy radar_ is going off the charts. Something ain't right about this guy."

"But he needs our help," complained the girl.

"You can just point me in the right direction," suggested Stranger, pointing at random as if to emphasize his point.

The girl shook her head. "No. We're gonna take you there. _Right _Cake?"

Cake, the cat, relented with a sigh. "Fine. Fine. But no funny business." She directed the warning towards Stranger. It was obvious that she did not like, or at least trust, the strange man.

The cat bent down so that she was on all four paws, and slowly, as if by magic (it could have been for all that Stranger knew), the cat began to inflate until she was the size of a large sedan, no doubt using powers similar to Jake the Dog. The human girl jumped onto her friends back and called for Stranger to do the same. He did, because, quite frankly, nothing surprised him anymore. Riding atop a magical cat was just another event in his tail-spinning life of normality.

Normal: that was a word that had little meaning in Stranger's life nowadays.

Cake continued growing until she towered above the treetops. Each stride of hers covered immense distances, speeding the three towards the kingdom faster than Stranger could ever had hoped to accomplish on foot. The young girl thoroughly enjoyed the ride atop her friend, a wide and toothy grin marking her face as the wind tugged fiercely at the free lock of hanging blond hair that snaked out from under her hat. Stranger, on the other hand, maintained a firm grip, afraid that he might _accidentally_ fall off and to his demise.

"So, why were you dead on the beach... uh...?" The girl waited for Stranger to tell her his name. He came to realize that he knew nothing about these two, and yet he was relying on them to deliver him to the Candy Kingdom – he normally refrained from relying on those that he did not know, but certain circumstances called for it.

"Stranger," he answered finally.

"Stranger? That's an algebraic name. I'm Fionna and this is Cake."

Stranger was unsure what _algebraic _meant, but he assumed it was positive.

"So why were you dead, Stranger?" continued Fionna.

"Cause whirlpools can be a bitch," remarked Stranger.

Fionna frowned. "A bitch? What's that?"

"Well, it's a..." Stranger paused. He had no idea how one was to explain a curse word to a child, but he was glad that he had chosen a less colorful word from his extensive vocabulary. He finally said, "It's something unpleasant. Let's just leave it at that," and hoped that this would quell the questioning.

It did, and they rode on in silence for the remainder of the trip.

They reached the Candy Kingdom in record time. Cake shrunk and allowed the two humans to hop down to the sugary streets before fully returning to her original size. Stranger was glad to be back on firm ground, and, to a lesser extent, to see that the buildings (and nearly everything else in the surrounding area for that matter) were still bright and colorful and no doubt confectionary based. This fact served to reaffirm to himself that he had not imagined his time spent in the Land of Ooo, though this reality was still hard to digest completely.

"Thanks for the ride," said Stranger. "Goodbye." He turned and began walking down the main street, passing Candy People who went about their business, each taking time to wave and greet the stranger as he went by. They were a friendly people, when they weren't formed into an angry mob.

"Where are you going?" questioned Fionna, matching Stranger step for step, stretching to compete with his long and purposeful strides.

"I could ask you the same thing," muttered Stranger. The girl was kind and had been willing to help him, but Stranger did not like to be followed. Several adventures gone awry in faraway lands had taught him that.

"We're going to the castle," answered the thirteen year old with a smile.

Stranger shrugged. Not like he could tell her to go away. "Me too."

Cake stretched up so that she could speak directly into Fionna's ear. "What kind of business does someone like _him_ have at the castle? People don't just wash up from the ocean and head to the nearest kingdom. I told you something ain't right about this guy. I think he's up to something."

"Relax," calmed Fionna. "You worry too much."

Gaining entrance into the castle was easy, too easy. Stranger and his temporary companions were allowed in without so much as being questioned of their intentions. Security as lax as this was unheard of in his homeland. Even in small towns (such as Stranger's hometown) one had to state their business and be verified by security forces before so much as being allowed near the mayor or other major public official. This was especially true after the civil war several years ago.

The castle's main foyer was just as he remembered it: decorated in royal finery with pastel walls reaching high above into an arching ceiling. Few people lingered in the foyer, most stepping in briefly before traveling down one of many hallways that led deeper into the castle. Stranger was about to ask a peppermint maid for the whereabouts of Princess Bubblegum when a similarly pink skinned young man entered the foyer, carrying a tray of fresh from the oven snickerdoodle cookies.

"There you are, Fionna," greeted the pink skinned man. He wore clothing suitable only for a royal, overlaid with a cooking apron (with the phrase _Kiss the Prince_ written in bold lettering) and oven mitts, all of which matched his overall color scheme of pink and more pink.

Stranger could only assume that this was Princess Bubblegum's brother, though he had always pegged her as an only child type.

"How's it going, PG?" asked Fionna with a small wave, heading over to where the pink prince stood.

The prince, Prince Gumball, smiled in return. "Fine. I'm doing fine. Fionna, you have got to try these cookies that I made for the Biennial Gumball Ball. They're a new recipe that I created, utilizing the perfect combination of sugar, cinnamon, and yellow dye number 4."

Fionna took one of the still steaming cookies and bit into it. "Mmm. Mathematical cookie, dude."

Gumball looked over to the stranger that stood (somewhat misplaced) in the castle foyer. "And who might you be and do you want a cookie as well?"

"Stranger, and no thanks," answered Stranger. He approached the prince and delved into more pressing matters. "I need to speak to your sister."

A confused look spread across Gumball's face. "Sister?"

"Yes. Princess Bubblegum," Stranger pressed. "It's very important."  
>Gumball stared blankly at the foreigner for a brief moment before erupting into royally intoned laughter, as if Stranger had just told an exceptionally funny joke.<p>

"Why are you laughing?" demanded Stranger, showing great restraint by not assaulting the young prince.

"I think you are mistaken, good sir," began Gumball, "for you see, I have no sister and no one by that name lives in this castle or this kingdom for that matter. Maybe you mistook someone else or..."

"But I was here just days ago!" roared Stranger, annoyance raging throughout his body. "I accidentally eviscerated a cupcake and was chased out of the kingdom by an angry mob of Candy People!"

Cake whispered into Fionna's ear. "Told you that guy was off."

Stranger continued, ignoring the cat's remark. "This is the Candy Kingdom. A kingdom made of candy that, by no means, should exist longer than a day or two. I came here after rescuing Princess Bubblegum, ruler of the Candy Kingdom, from the Ice King and she was able to provide me with a boat, _but_ now I'm stuck here again and need another boat so I can leave Ooo once and for all, so you better tell me where the bloody hell she is this instant before I tear apart this tooth-rotting castle to find her!"

The confused look returned to the face of the pink prince. "Ooo...?"

"Yes. Ooo. The Land of Ooo. This godforsaken, belief destroying continent of bizarreness that has left me unable to explain anything that has happened to me thus far. This Land of Ooo."

Gumball laughed the royally intoned laugh once more. "You are mistaken once again. This isn't the Land of Ooo, this is the Land of Aaa. I think you must be confused."

"Say what now?"

"This is the Land of Aaa, as in AAH!" interjected Fionna with a giggle.

"This... isn't the Land of Ooo?"

The prince and girl shook their heads.

Stranger was at a lost for words. He had escaped the Land of Ooo only to wash ashore of some bizarro mirror image of the strange land, as if he had stepped unwillingly through a portal and into a different dimension where everything was approximately the same.

Gumball held up the cookie tray. "Snickerdoodle?"

Stranger took a cookie from the tray and held it close to his face. "Candy People eating cookies? Doesn't that seem a bit... cannibalistic?"

"Nonsense. Cookies aren't alive," assured the prince, holding a cookie of his own. A tiny scream for help could be heard, a cry for help which ceased the moment Gumball bit the snickerdoodle in half.

Stranger set the cookie he held back down on the tray. He swore that he heard a tiny _thank you_ as he did.

"Maybe I could help you," Gumball suggested after a brief moment of silence. "If what you say is true, then it will be a great honor to aid a stranger in need on his journey. It will, however, have to wait until after the Biennial Gumball Ball."

"And when is that?" asked Stranger, some hope returning to him.

"Tonight," stated Gumball, his voice implying that tonight was an important night for the kingdom, if not to the prince himself.

Stranger would receive the help he needed. He only had to wait a few more hours and then he would be back out to see, where he could, hopefully, avoid any more whirlpools and return home. Deep down he hoped that his _different dimension_ _theory_ was just that, a theory. If he had, by some twist of fate and scientific fact, entered a alternate universe, he may never return to his homeland.

Fionna grabbed onto Stranger's sleeve and dragged him down one of the many hallways. "Come on! You can help us decorate the ballroom."

Stranger followed the girl and her cat, glad for the distraction. Work would prevent him on dwelling on _unpleasant_ thoughts, which had, for lack of a better word, bummed him out to no end.

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><p><strong>Party Crashers<strong>

The Biennial Gumball Ball was a elaborate party that, to Stranger, who observed quietly from a corner of the massive ballroom, served no purpose other than to celebrate the benevolent leader of the Candy Kingdom.

The entire kingdom, and a multitude of others not of the Candy Kingdom, had arrived for the celebration. Candy People danced amongst Turtle People, who danced beside Nut People, who chatted gleefully with Berry and Flower People. Even Lumpy Space Prince attended the ball. Gumball, the host and benefactor, remained the center of attention throughout the night, entertaining various people and species.

"Why aren't you dancing?" asked Fionna, approaching Stranger from the punch bowl. She had abandoned her everyday outfit for a more elegant gown of white and yellow, though the rabbit-themed hat remained snugly atop her head.

Stranger shrugged. He was not interested in the Biennial Gumball Ball or parties in general for that matter. He only wanted this night to be over so that he could acquire a boat and continue on with his journey, which now included the goal of returning home alive. The strangeness of the Land of Ooo, and now the Land of Aaa, had made him more homesick than he had ever been before.

"You helped put up the decorations, you should at least have fun," tried Fionna.

"Then why aren't you out on the dance floor," retorted Stranger.

Fionna didn't answer. She had spent most of the night attempting, and failing, to get closer to Gumball, who seemed oblivious to her advances. Dejected, Fionna had taken to spending the evening hovering around the punch bowl.

Stranger looked over to the young girl. She was absentmindedly swirling the contents of her cup, her eyes lowered down towards her feet. Fionna had reminded Stranger of his niece, who was about her age if not a year or two younger, but Fionna also made him think of his kid sister. They were both hopeless romantics and were both ignored by the person so dear to them.

It was obvious to Stranger that Fionna liked Prince Gumball, though for reasons that eluded him. Gumball was charming for a prince, but no man should take _that_ much pride in snickerdoodle cookies. It just wasn't right.

The lights of the ballroom dimmed suddenly, casting the partygoers into blinding darkness. Only a single spotlight remained lit, shining brightly down upon Gumball, who now stood front and center of the massive crowd. He spoke loudly, his voice amplified more so by the megaphone held aloft by his peppermint maid.

"I want to thank you all for coming to the Biennial Gumball Ball," addressed Gumball with a smile. "Tonight is a very special night. Not only are we celebrating the Biennial Gumball Ball this evening, but we also have a very special guest in attendance from across the ocean."

The spotlight spun to shine brightly on Stranger, blinding him somewhat. He ignored the stares and applause he received from the crowd, wanting rather to be outside the center of attention. After a moment the spotlight returned to Gumball, who continued to address the crowd of people.

Fionna, who had been excluded from the spotlight, continued to swirl around the contents of her drink. She seemed depressed, and reminded Stranger even more of his sister, who had fallen for an aloof young artist too engrossed with his art to notice her. The story of Stranger's sister did (for those who care) have a happy ending: she and the artist eloped shortly after the outbreak of the war and still remembered to write home every once in awhile.

"What do you see in him?" asked Stranger, breaking his own rules about involving himself in the personal matters of someone unrelated to him. His breath crystalized into fog and floated up past his head. The temperature had dropped significantly in a short time, and Stranger wondered if this held any meaning in the Land of Aaa.

Fionna opened her mouth to speak, but she never said a word.

The rear wall of the ballroom, having been completely frozen through, cracked and shattered with a mighty explosion. Debris and ice rained down on the partygoers who listened intently to what their prince had to say. Their cries of terror were drowned out by the maniacal laughter that filled the panicked ballroom as a blue skinned woman with flowing snow white hair and long eyebrows entered through the gaping hole, standing atop a freezing mist that whisked her swiftly through the air and above the heads of all those in attendance.

"It's the Ice Queen!" yelled a lollipop man, pointing up to the intruder as he did.

"I've got you now, Prince Gumball!" stated Ice Queen with malicious glee as her azure bolts of subzero lightning froze the very air around the prince, trapping him in cage of blue ice.

"Not this again," muttered Stranger, reaching into his coat for his weathered handgun. The grip of the familiar weapon felt reassuring in the hand of Stranger, reminding him of a world where science outweighed magic.

"What's your problem Ice Queen!" yelled Fionna, rushing over to where the Ice Queen floated menacingly in the air atop her freezing mist. She was joined by Cake the Cat, who had spent most of her evening in the company of a ludicrously long, monochromatic unicorn.

"My problem? You have the problem!" accused the Ice Queen. "Hogging all the hotties to yourself; thinking that you're _all that_ and whatnot."

"Well, you're just a bitch!" spat Fionna aggressively.

"What?" gasped Ice Queen and Cake nearly simultaneously.

"You're very unpleasant," added Fionna, thinking that her new word had gone over the heads of Ice Queen and her friend.

"Where on Earth did you learn that word!" reprimanded Cake. Stranger felt uneasy as he stood behind them: afraid both of Cake's fury and the possibility of Fionna pointing her finger his way.

"How dare you call me that!" screamed Ice Queen in anger.

The Ice Queen fired a barrage of azure lightning bolts towards the human/cat duo. Cake dove to the left and Fionna to the right, both narrowly avoiding the freezing lightning; Stranger jumped for safety as well, but several Candy People were a lot less fortunate. Fionna landed on her feet and sent the nearby punch bowl flying towards the Ice Queen, using Cake's outstretched arms as a makeshift slingshot. A bolt of Ice Queen's lightning froze the punch mid-flight, turning the strawberry colored liquid into a deep colored snow that hit the irritable queen smack dab in the face.

"You can't beat us, Ice Queen," smirked Fionna. "It's one of you against all of us." Proving her point was the abundance of Candy Guards now filtering into the ballroom, greatly turning the odds in their favor.

"Ha! That's where you're wrong, little missy. Do you honestly think that I, the beautiful and powerful Ice Queen, would crash the Biennial Gumball Ball" – Ice Queen added under he breath _that I never get invited to_ – "alone?"

Several windows lining the ballroom shattered as if on cue. Armor-clad skeletons landed amongst the broken shards of glass, each brandishing a rusted sword and worn metal shield, the teeth in their skulls chittering loudly to create a consuming monotonous drone. The Candy Guards coward before the undead soldiers that shambled into the castle, weapons raised and ready to strike, all the while the Ice Queen laughed menacingly, ordering her skeletal allies to attack.

The skeleton soldiers lunged.

Chaos erupted in the ballroom as the partygoers and guards fled in the face of the fearsome enemy. A skeleton swung a heavy blade at Fionna, who dodged the clumsy attack but stumbled on the hem of her gown, landing in a heap on the floor. The skeleton raised to strike again at the defenseless girl. It took a single step forward and brought its blade down.

The skeleton's head exploded into dust and fragments, its blade embedding into the hardwood floor a mere inches from where Fionna lay. Stranger stood some ten feet behind her, his weathered handgun still raised at where the skeleton had once stood.

Stranger wasted no time. He spun and brought his handgun to bear on a skeleton that was harassing LSP. Two shots sent it reeling, a third finished it for good. Another skeleton menaced a nearby group of Turtle People. Stranger emptied the remainder of his magazine, leaving the undead soldier broken on the ground.

Fionna pulled free the sword that had nearly ended her life, holding its grip tightly as she stood and ripped her gown so that it was more manageable. She gave no pause as she dove into the melee, decapitating unwitting skeletons left and right, impaling several, and, joining forces with Cake, thoroughly kicking their fleshless behinds.

Stranger caught the empty magazine as he ejected it from his pistol, sliding it into his inner jacket pocket as he reached for a new clip. He was in the process of reloading and chambering a new round when a skeleton rushed for him, swinging its blade laterally. Stranger, having no time to take aim, brought up his gun to block the attack and was saved from a messy decapitation, but his handgun was knocked free and sent flying across the ballroom. The skeleton swung again, missing Stranger by inches. He grabbed the skeleton by the arm and twisted, wrenching the blade from the skeleton's bony fingers and bringing it down hard on the skeletal soldier's kneecap. Now legless, the skeleton fell back, landing hard onto a dessert table. The table buckled and acted as a catapult, launching several cakes and custards skyward so that they bombarded several unwary enemies in a sticky artillery.

"Stranger!" called out Fionna, dispatching another other the skeletal warriors.

Stranger looked to the girl, and then to where his gun lay. Several dozen meters separated him from his trusted weapon, and standing in his way were more than a handful of skeletal soldiers.

Things were never easy.

"Get everyone out of here!" ordered Stranger, rushing off to retrieve his weapon.

The skeleton soldiers met Stranger head on. He ducked and dodged and swung his way through the throng, breaking bones and dislocating joints as he went. The skeletons failed to stop his charge. Now only one remained between him and his handgun: a single skeleton with a large, curved blade and an intricately spiked helmet.

The skeleton stepped forward, building its momentum for a powerful swing, bringing its curved blade forward with enough force to cleave Stranger in two. Abandoning his confiscated sword, Stranger leapt over the attack with all the grace of an olympian diver. The skeleton's razor sharp blade sliced through the sweet smelling air (now contaminated with the rot of the skeletons) of the ballroom, missing Stranger by an inch at best.

Stranger reached out for his handgun, snatching it up off the ground as he twisted his body through the air. He landed on his back, sliding along the wooden floor as he brought his weapon up and fired several times into the skeleton. Each round punched through the skeleton's armor with little resistance, tearing apart its ribcage and spine. It crumbled to the ground, its defeat marking the end of the battle inside the ballroom.

"Take that you skele-losers," shouted Fionna in triumph, raising her rusted sword high above her head as the remaining skeletons fled the Biennial Gumball Ball. Those that remained in the ballroom joined in on the celebration, lifting Fionna high into the air and igniting the party anew.

Stranger stood, brushing the dirt from his coat and holstering his handgun.

"We did it!" beamed Fionna from her vantage point.

Strange glanced around the ballroom. "Something's not right."

The ballroom was in disarray. The skeletons had retreated and Ice Queen, the instigator of the attack, had also made her exit, but in their wake they left behind destruction and scattered piles of bone and ice. It would take days to repair the damage done, let alone patch the gaping hole in the ballroom's rear wall.

But, more importantly, Prince Gumball was nowhere to be seen.

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><p><strong>The Kingdom of Ice and Conspiracy<strong>

The two humans rode atop Cake the Cat, the three making quick time towards the Ice Kingdom. Prince Gumball, the benevolent leader of the Candy Kingdom, had disappeared following the attack.

Ice Queen had, no doubt, succeeded in kidnapping herself a prince.

Stranger passed the time by reloading several of his handgun magazines, snapping the bullets in one after the other with a _click_. He would peer over to Fionna every few minutes to see how she was holding up. A deep melancholy had consumed her after the discovery of Gumball's disappearance, but that had now been replaced by a seething anger that loomed just under the surface.

Stranger almost felt sorry for the Ice Queen.

Almost.

Prince Gumball held Stranger's only hope of leaving the Land of Aaa. Without the prince, Stranger would never again see his homeland. Ice Queen was effectively holding him hostage as well.

"Darn Ice Queen," muttered Fionna.

"This happen often?" queried Stranger, finishing his last magazine.

Fionna nodded.

It felt odd to Stranger that a thirteen year old girl would lead the rescue operation, which consisted of three people only. Why wouldn't a larger force lead the march towards the Ice Kingdom, or at least accompany the three heroes? Prince Gumball was their prince, and yet his people seemed reluctant to do anything about his capture. Stranger decided to ask Fionna about this, seeing as how she knew more about this world than he ever would.

"You really aren't from here, are you," stated Fionna distantly. "The Candy People are _too_ nice and _too_ cowardly to do much about Ice Queen. It doesn't help that they explode when frightened either."

"Candy People explode?" asked Stranger incredulously.

Fionna nodded again, and then added with a smile, "You should have seen the zombie infestation PG created. One of his experimental cookie recipes had some _unexpected_ side effects that raised the dead. We held a kingdom wide sleepover in the castle to keep the Candy People from freaking out while PG made the antidote."

"You really like him, don't you?" asked Stranger.

Fionna didn't answer.

Cake broke the silence that formed between them. "Get ready guys. We're almost to the Ice Kingdom now."

The temperature dropped as the three approached the Ice Kingdom. Sharp peaks stood sharp on the horizon, their snowcapped tops illuminated by the light of the nearly full moon above. Clouds distended with a heavy load of snow swirled about a central mountainous spire: the Ice Queen's lair.

"How we doing this: we can go in quietly or we go in loud?" asked Stranger, his mind focused now on the mission at hand.

"Let's make some noise!" cheered Cake.

Fionna nodded in agreement, gripping the hilt of her shiny blade until her knuckles turned white. The three had made a quick stop at the tree fort (it looked exactly the same as the one in the Land of Ooo) and Fionna (after changing into her usual, more practical attire) had found the sharpest blade available in her extensive arsenal of weapons.

Again, Stranger almost felt sorry for the Ice Queen, emphasis on _almost_.

"I have something that might help," offered Stranger, reaching a hand into his rucksack. He held up a somewhat hefty metal cylinder with a pin and tab attached to the top. Stranger explained after seeing Fionna's confused look. "Concussion grenade. Been saving this for a rainy day."

"But it's not raining," pointed out Fionna.

"It's a figure of speech," explained Stranger. He looked down to Cake. "Get me close to Ice Queen's lair so I can toss this in."

"I don't take no orders from you," rebuffed the cat.

Stranger rolled his eyes. "Get me close to Ice Queen's lair so I can toss this in, _please_."

"That's better."

The giant sized cat ran full speed for the Ice Queen's lair. Stranger readied the grenade, his hand firmly gripping the tab and pin. Cake changed her course, giving Stranger the angle his needed to lob the grenade in. The toss was good, and the grenade disappeared into the icy lair. A deep _thud_ could be heard a moment later.

"Hang on!" yelled Cake. She stretched her arm like a rope and took hold of the mountainside. They swung full circle back to the lair's entrance and flew inside (Cake shrinking back down as they did). The three landed on their feet and skidded to a halt, ready for the unexpected.

Two dozen penguins or so lay about dazed and confused in the main room. The Ice Queen, having been caught in the concussion grenade's blast, held onto her head, willing the mind-numbing _ringing_ to stop.

Stranger reached for his handgun, twirling it twice on his finger via the trigger guard. He took aim and fired, the 9mm round striking the Ice Queen's tiara and sending it flying off of her head. Stranger could only assume that her powers functioned the same as Ice King's.

Fionna held the blade to the Ice Queen's throat, yelling, "Where's Gumball!"

Ice Queen had regained most of her senses by now, and, realizing her magical tiara was missing, did nothing to retaliate against the intruders. Instead, she said, "He's not here."

"What do you mean he's not here?" shouted Fionna, pressing the blade closer.

"I told you he's not here!" defended the Ice Queen.

"Stop lying!"

"Keep yo cool, honey," Cake said, trying and failing to diffuse her friends anger.

"I don't think she's lying," added Stranger. He stood over near an icy prison cell, which was empty save for a few penguins.

"What did you do to him!" interrogated Fionna.

The Ice Queen seemed vexed by the interrogation, but spoke nonetheless. "He was kidnapped."

"Yeah, by you!"

"And then he was kidnapped by someone else. My poor, poor prince."

"What do you mean he was _kidnapped_?" asked Cake, standing next to her friend. "By who?"

"Skeletons make sense," interjected Stranger. "Don't seen any here."

"Tell me who took Gumball!" threatened Fionna, moving the blade closer to the Ice Queen's carotid artery.

Ice Queen's answered shocked the cat and human girl. "The Skeleton Prince."

"I'm guessing he's the ruler of the skeletons," hypothesized Stranger.

Fionna nodded solemnly. "But why?"

"I don't know why," stated the Ice Queen. "He approached _me_ with promises of stealing Gumball. And then what does that little necromorph do? He betrays me! ME of all people."

"You know where this guy is?" Stranger asked Fionna, holstering his gun.

She nodded again. "The Boneyard Kingdom."

"Cheerful name," remarked Stranger. "Let's go then. The sooner the better."

Ice Queen seemed pleased with their departure. "Good. Be gone with you. My eyes are tired of your sight anyway."

Fionna jumped up, bringing the tip of the sword's hilt down on Ice Queen's head with a _crack_. The Ice Queen fell to the frozen ground, clearly unconscious and with a red bump forming on her forehead where the hilt had struck.

"That's for ruining the Biennial Gumball Ball!" said Fionna to the woman.

"Feel better?" asked Cake. Fionna nodded.

Stranger stepped up onto the raised ledge of the ice lair's entrance, looking out into the dark night that seemed even darker within the mountains of the Ice Kingdom. "We should get moving."

Cake and Fionna joined him. "Yeah," agreed the human girl. "But we may need help. If what Ice Queen says is true, that Skeleton Prince really is a bad guy, then it won't be easy."

Stranger liked the idea. "Help is always welcomed. Got someone in mind?"

Fionna nodded with a grin.

* * *

><p><strong>Millennial Rockstar<strong>

The small home had been constructed inside a spacious cave, an odd choice of location for any home, though Stranger could name several benefits off the top of his head (mainly from a militaristic perspective).

The three had rushed here immediately after leaving the Ice Kingdom. Stranger was somewhat eager to see who would be recruited to accompany them on their journey, though Cake seemed less than pleased.

Fionna knocked three times on the white door. It opened almost instantly after the third strike, though no one stood in the doorway. Fionna, not waiting for a reply, marched in, followed closely by Cake the Cat and Stranger.

This was by far the most normal home Stranger had seen in the Land of Aaa. Nothing was made of candy or ice; no trees were used as a foundation; only the location of the home was odd. They could very well have been standing inside suburbia, if suburbia still existed as it once had.

A small, white, and curly haired poodle barked lightly from an armchair, jumping to the carpeted floor and striding into the kitchen without another sound. Cake eyed the canine warily, which made sense seeing as how she was a cat, though Stranger felt she would be above her animal instincts considering how human she was.

"Who's the knew guy?" called out a disembodied voice.

"This is Stranger. Look, we need your help," explained Fionna.

A grey skinned, raven haired teenager floated up from behind the kitchen counter, holding the small poodle with one had. He flew into the living room, looking as if he were lounging in a swimming pool, floating contently on an inflatable raft.

"Stranger, huh?" The teenager eyed Stranger for a moment before moving on. "Guess you're cool if you're with Fionna."

"Stranger, this is...," Fionna began.

The gravity challenged teenager finished the sentence in a lazy voice. "Marshal Lee the Vampire King."

Stranger was not surprised by the suffix. In fact, he was expecting it the moment he saw Marshal Lee floating through the air without a care in the world for physics. Plus the grey skin and bite marks on his neck added to the hint as well.

"So what do you need help with?" questioned Marshal, floating over to Fionna, his face intimately close to hers. Cake eyed him suspiciously, but said nothing.

Fionna explained the situation to the vampire: how Gumball had been kidnapped, the Ice Queen's confession, and the Skeleton Prince's fall to the dark side. Marshal listened without any trace of emotion displayed across his face. He stroked his pet poodle with a lazy hand and nodded his head every few words as Fionna spoke.

He spoke once she had finished. "So old Gumball has gotten himself kidnapped, has he? And I should care, why?"

"Will you please help us," begged Fionna.

Marshal thought about it. "Sure, but only if Cake begs me to."

"What?" gaped the feline. "Uh-uh. No way am I begging you for anything."

"Please," begged Fionna, turning to face her friend.

The cat sighed. "Fine. Fine. But you owe me for this." Cake turned towards Marshal and mumbled, "Will you please help us rescue Gumball."

"Say it like you mean it," commanded the vampire.

Cake sighed. "Will you please help us rescue Gumball."

"Use my name and say how great I am." Marshal was enjoying himself.

The cat growled and then spoke in a pained voice, "Oh great Marshal Lee the Vampire King, will you aid this lowly cat in rescuing the fair prince of the Candy Kingdom, Prince Gumball, seeing as how I am too weak to do so myself."

Marshal burst into a fit of laughter, dropping his poodle to the floor. "Alright. Alright. I'll help you guys. Just let me grab some things before we go."

He floated up into the bedroom, which was connected to the living room by a wooden ladder. Fionna called out to remind him to grab a parasol, seeing as how the sun would be rising soon.

"I'm not a chick," retorted the vampire from his bedroom. "I only use umbrellas."

Stranger refrained from mentioning that they were really the same thing.

* * *

><p><strong>Styx, the River<strong>

"Why are we here again?"

"Because this is the fastest way to the Boneyard Kingdom," answered Fionna.

Stranger frowned. "Through a sewer?"

Fionna explained. "There's an underground river that flows beneath the mountain range surrounding the Boneyard Kingdom. This way will be a lot faster than traveling through the mountains."

"Styx," mentioned Marshal. He followed behind the others, strumming his axe bass at random. An instrument would seem useless to bring along for a rescue mission, but Stranger had noticed the sharpened blades along the guitar's body. If needed, it could become a deadly weapon.

Fionna nodded. "You've heard of it?" She led the way through the abandoned sewer system, lighting the way with a flaming torch that she had made before the four descended down into the darkness.

"I'm a thousand years old," replied Marshal without much care. "Been here, done that. Styx was the place to be a couple hundred years ago."

"Styx? Like the River Styx?" asked Stranger, feeling a little unsettled by their destination.

"You've heard of it too?" Fionna sounded a little excited that Stranger might know something about the Land of Aaa, seeing as how he was a foreigner and all.

"I've read something about _a_ River Styx," stated Stranger.

"It's in a book? Mathematical."

"It's the river where the souls of the dead are transported into the underworld," elaborated Stranger. It seemed unnervingly fitting that their final destination was essentially a land of the dead.

Fionna frowned. "Un-mathematical."

"Relax," calmed the vampire, playing a simple beat on his bass. "If you die I'll simply bring you back as my undead servants."

"No one wants to be a servant to you," retorted Cake.

"But I can be a very good master, right Fionna?"

Fionna ignored him. "Where here."

The group followed her into a cavernous underground room. Except for the little ledge that they stood upon, the room was entirely flooded. A central island stood alit in the darkness, a decaying dome surrounding buildings that reached almost to the artificial ceiling high above, lost to sight.

Stranger was in awe. "It's a fallout shelter."

"No, it's Beautopia," corrected Fionna.

"A fallout shelter is what Beautopia is," uttered Marshal, now playing an ominous tune fitting for the situation.

"And what's a _fallout shelter_?" inquired Fionna.

Stranger answered. "A shelter built to protect people from the war." Disappointment came to his voice. "Time seems to have taken its toll on this one as well. It's rare to find an intact one, at least on my continent. They've all either been destroyed by people or time."

A raft floated on the water towards them, gliding effortlessly on the still waters of the subterranean lake. Two people stood atop it: one a man and the other a woman. The woman was thin and wore rags. Instead of hair, her head and neck were covered with orange scales and fins. Her male companion wore rags as well, but was much, much larger, being made mostly of muscle. He wore a cat-themed hat around his head, and strands of blond hair hung down into his eyes.

"Steven!" waved Fionna towards the man.

"Fionna? What you do here?" questioned the man in broken English.

Fionna bent down from the ledge so that she was nearly eye level with the gargantuan man as his raft approached. "We need to get to the Boneyard Kingdom. Can you take us to Styx?"

"Styx? Sure. Sure. Me take you. Get on."

The four lowered themselves down onto the raft. It bobbed lightly with the added weight, but was constructed well enough to hold all six of them. Stranger felt uneasy standing atop the crude vessel, but did not voice his concern.

The fish girl, who held an oar, began paddling. She was stronger than she looked, her small frame easily able to propel the raft across the motionless lake.

"Why you go to Boneyard?" questioned Steven.

Fionna explained their situation to him. Steven listened intently, enthralled by each and every word she said. His way of speaking was troubled, but he was an adept listener.

"Delicious Candy People in trouble? Me help," proclaimed Steven.

"Thank you, Steven," said Fionna.

A massive pipe branched off from the lake, the still water now flowing faster the deeper they went. The fish girl eventually stopped paddling, using the oar instead to steer the raft around obstacles such as jutting rocks and twisted beams of metal. Marshal's strumming picked up speed, matching the speed of the river.

The six were no longer trapped inside the massive sewer pipe. The metal walls were long gone, having been replaced instead by sheets of granite and other bedrock that had been carved through by the underground river over the last millennia. The river gave way to churning rapids, and the raft plunged down a steep slope and deeper into the Earth.

Stranger, Cake, and Fionna held onto whatever they could (including each other), screaming as their river ride became life threateningly terrifying. The other three remained calm and relaxed. Marshal's strumming reached a new intensity, his fingers moving as a blur on his bass.

The river suddenly shot uphill and then back down. Stranger felt his stomach leave his body, as if he was on some demented carnival ride and had been privileged to a moment of weightlessness (if carnivals still existed as they once had).

The raft left the water and soared through the dark air, skimming across the raging water like a skipping stone before taking flight once again. The front in of the watercraft plunged into the cold water, drenching those in front: Stranger and Fionna mostly. Stranger spat the water from his mouth, nearly choking on the strong metallic taste.

"Vithan!" shouted Steven over the noise of the river.

Stranger shook his head. "Vithan? What the bloody hell is a Vithan?"

"He means a Leviathan," corrected Marshal. He sounded _way_ too calm considering current circumstances.

"Oh. A Leviathan. That makes sense." Stranger paused for a moment, the full impact hitting a second later. "A Leviathan?"

A serpentine fish the size of several school buses end to end burst forth from the water ahead of the raft: its roar added to the horrid sympathy created by the river; its appearance sparking waves twenty feet high. The raft was again thrown airborne by the raging water. The Leviathan snapped its maw closed around the raft, consuming it in one monstrous bite. The six were shaken around violently inside the monster's mouth before Steven punched the creature's dangling uvula. The monster gagged and spat the raft back into the air, where it crashed into the river and continued onward with its journey.

Stranger broke down and hugged the dirty ground the moment he stepped off of the raft several minutes later. He had seen many horrible things, done many things not for the feint of heart, but never had he been so glad as he was now.

"Relax. It's just a Leviathan," said Marshal calmly.

"Steven, why don't you come with us?" asked Fionna, wringing the water from her skirt. "We could really use your help."

Steven declined her invitation. "Wish me could, but me needed at Beautopia."

"I understand."

The four waved goodbye as Steven and his fishy friend began their journey back to their home. When they were no longer in sight, Fionna began the march to the surface. They had their own journey to accomplish.

Soon they all could see sunlight filtering in from an opening ahead.

"We're almost to the Boneyard Kingdom!" exclaimed Fionna.

"Alright!" added Cake.

"Whatever," muttered Marshal.

The four broke free from the subterranean caverns and into the sunlight (Marshal wearing an umbrella hat atop his head). The bright sun blinded Stranger at first, but soon his eyes adjusted. What he saw destroyed what hope he had of returning home.

Nothing.

Nothing was there.

Nothing but a vast and sandy wasteland.

Stranger looked around. They stood at the mouth of a cave on one of many mountains that stood stark behind them. The air was dry. The sun was bright, unhindered by a cloudless sky. Sand blew in a hot breeze.

There was no kingdom in sight.

Stranger fell to his knees, despondent. He saw no point in going on. They would never find Gumball in this desert. Even Fionna looked unsure as to where to go next. Stranger would never see his home again. He would forever be trapped in the Land of Aaa.

"Are you okay?" asked Cake.

Stranger shook his head. "What's the point. We're never find Gumball."

"Of course we will," encouraged Fionna. "It may just take a little longer than planned."

"And where do you suggest we start!" snapped Stranger. "This is a bloody desert! We have no food. We have no water. We won't last a damn day here! We should just give up. I should just give up. There's no point anymore. Everything I've gone through till now has been for nothing. I should just face the facts: I'm never going home."

"You want to just give up?" questioned Marshal, strumming a new beat on his bass. "We've gone through all this and you say just give up?"

"And what do you suggest?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm merely stating a fact. Life never goes your way, and it never will."

Marshal picked up on the beat he was playing, turning a simple melody into an intricate tune. Fionna joined in, finding a discarded human skull and smacking it with her palms as if it were a bongo drum. Cake found a the ribcage and used is as a a dulcimer, using smaller bones for the hammers.

Then Marshal floated high into the air and began singing.

_You were once on a great adventure,_

_but then you hit what was a greater disaster._

_Now you're looking for a way back home,_

_back to everything that you've ever known._

_To escape this land that's so bizarre,_

_a world that is foreign to who you are._

_A place where dreams always have to be true,_

_a land that was never really meant for you._

The beat changed slightly. Marshal gained momentum and pace with his strumming. Fionna and Cake followed along, as if they had practice for the day when this song would be needed, which they might have for all that Stranger knew.

_You march on forward, a man with the plan,_

_looking for a way back home._

_You march on forward, the man with the plan_

_hoping all will make sense someday._

_You march on forward, the man with the plan,_

_thinking you can overcome anything._

_You march on forward, the man with no clue,_

_life will never go your way._

Fionna took over the vocals now, which Marshal willing handed over, singing the chorus in a high voice that was not unpleasant to the ears.

_Life never goes your way, never goes your way,_

_never goes the way that it should._

_Life never goes your way, never goes your way,_

_never goes the way that you would._

The melody slowed. Marshal landed on a rock high above Stranger's head, sitting cross legged on the warm stone. The vampire strummed his bass lazily, but, at the same time, with purpose, enjoying the music he created. With a new note, he returned to vocals.

_A land of candy, a land of dreams,_

_a land of very supernatural beings._

_It makes no sense to a mind like yours,_

_but remember that fact is stranger than fiction._

Fionna took over almost immediately, her lighter voice complimenting Marshal Lee's.

_Look at me, and look at you,_

_we both exist and this world does too._

_It's hard to come to terms with destiny,_

_forget the hows and whys and continue your journey._

Marshal: _You march on forward,_

Fionna: _looking for your way,_

Marshal: _the man with the plan._

Marshal: _You march on forward,_

Fionna: _it will make sense,_

Marshal_: the man with the plan._

Marshal: _You march on forward,_

Fionna: _overcoming anything,_

Marshal_: the man with the plan._

Marshal: _You march on forward,_

Fionna: _life is unpredictable,_

Marshal_: the man with no clue. Well..._

Marshal increased the tempo once again, twirling off the stone and into the air with ease, never once missing a beat. He was a natural performer, playing his bass with a skill perfected with hundreds of years of practice.

Fionna played furiously on her skull bongo, setting a pace that was hard for her to maintain. Cake hammered an equally fierce tune on her makeshift dulcimer. Marshal grinned to himself and floated down so that he was next to Fionna, and they both sang the chorus.

_Life never goes your way, never goes your way,_

_never goes the way that it should._

_Life never goes your way, never goes your way,_

_never goes the way that you would._

Stranger couldn't help it. He tapped along with his foot, with his hand, the music invading his body. He was never a musically inclined person, but now he took center stage, impressing everybody with his vocals they never knew him to possess.

_I don't belong, I don't believe,_

_that was once what was wrong with me._

_When I came to this very stranger land,_

_a place as consuming as sinking quicksand._

_But now I know, and now I see,_

_that this place is not the very worst for me._

_I have friends that will help me to the end,_

_it's not the destination but the changing journey._

Stranger led the march, leading the band of merry musicians down from the mountain and into the dessert valley. Marshal floated above, his umbrella hat turned towards the sun. Fionna stayed beside Stranger, the skull bongo resting under her arm. Cake had abandoned her dulcimer, but had kept the bone hammers, beating them against one another, keeping time.

Stranger continued singing.

_I march on, a plan in my head,_

_no longer looking to the end._

_I march on, a plan in my head,_

_nothing has to make any sense._

_I march on, a plan in my head,_

_we can overcome anything._

_I march on, no clue in my head,_

_life will never go our way._

Everyone joined in for the final verse, reaching the climax of their impromptu song. Marshal led the tone with his bass, Stranger led with the chorus, Fionna heightened the sound with her own angelic singing voice, and Cake tried her best.

_Life never goes our way, never goes our way,_

_never goes the way that it should._

_Life never goes our way, never goes our way,_

_never goes the way that we would._

Marshal strummed a final note. "Life never goes our way."

* * *

><p><strong>Boneyard<strong>

The sun was just now rising over the eastern horizon, its morning light shining meekly through the still dark sky overhead. Stranger, having already been awake, watched the sunrise from where he sat, the contents of his rucksack before him. He had taken the time to do an inventory, mostly on how much ammo remained in his modest stockpile – he had also spent a good amount of time searching for his concussion grenade before remembering it had already been used.

The others were still asleep. Marshal floated above the sand (he had had the best sleep out of everyone else), Cake was curled into a tight ball, and Fionna used Cake as a pillow. Stranger had made do with what little he had, but had awoken after several hours. He instead had busied himself, allowing the others to catch some rest.

The four had spent all day yesterday marching (floating) across the desert in search of the Boneyard Kingdom, still in high spirits from their song. Reality soon set in, however, and the ordeal became a matter of survival. By the grace of luck, they had discovered a small spring of water, and Fionna had managed to catch a piglike creature that had had the misfortune to be drinking there that day.

Now they faced another day in the desert, but now they had some supplies.

Things were beginning to look up.

"Look over there!" exclaimed Fionna several hours later.

Her finger led the gaze of the others. In the distance, barely visible, was the skyline of a ruined city. A place that had been abandoned long ago and reclaimed by the encroaching desert. The skyscrapers stood stark against the deep blue sky, dark pillars that stood as a monument to the old world. The world before the war.

As Stranger looked out towards the dead city, something else caught his eye. A glint of metal of metal no more than half a mile from where they now stood. Stranger pointed out the object to the others, and Fionna, spying it as well, rushed off to investigate despite the protests of the others.

"What is this? It looks like a metal bird," pondered Fionna as the others caught up to where she now stood. She approached the wreckage, placing a hand on the warm, smooth metal, using a finger to trace a ruptured seam where two metallic sheets had separated.

"It's an airplane," answered Marshal, displaying how old he may have been.

The technology to construct and maintain airplanes of this caliber had long since been lost. Most people grew up never knowing the wonders that had once crisscrossed the skies above, while few others worked to restore their alluring grandeur. Stranger had seen many of their metal carcasses scattered across his homeland, though few were as complete as this one. Untouched for nearly a millennia.

"An airplane is a vehicle you use to fly through the sky," answered Stranger, sensing Fionna's next question before she could even ask it. "They were common in the old world. This one seems to be a bomber of sort, though I can't say from where. The insignia has been worn off."

Fionna walked around the destroyed airplane, no longer listening to a word Stranger said. The cockpit was in shambles, being nothing more than a hole; the wings had been shorn off at the fuselage; the large, turbine engines lay in pieces around the wreck, their metallic skin having been scorched black by ancient flames. The rear hatch remained forever open, and Fionna, curious, peeked inside.

Delight spread across her face as she disappeared inside the airplane. "I found something!"

Stranger followed the girl towards the hatch, his heart nearly stopping at what he saw. An undetonated bomb remained intact inside the plane's cargo hold, and Fionna was prodding at it with no concern whatsoever for the consequences.

"Stop!" ordered Stranger, urging her away from the explosive. "Don't touch that!"

"What? I've seen plenty of bombs and missiles before," stated Fionna, matter of fact in tone, and just a little smug. Stranger had no doubt that what she said was true, but he was sure she knew nothing about what she had found.

"That's no ordinary bomb," explained Stranger, his composure ebbing away by the second. "See that yellow and black symbol printed on the side? This bomb is nuclear."

"Cool," said Marshal, unconcerned. He floated over to better view the bomb. "Didn't think any of these still existed."

"A nuclear bomb is still a bomb, right?" queried Fionna, tapping at the weapon of mass destruction with a fist. Each _thud_ of her hand against the hard metal sent shovers down Stranger's spine, for good reason.

"If that bomb" – _thud_ – "goes off we'll" – _thud_ – "be completely" – _thud_ – "STOP THAT! If that bomb is still active, which it could bloody be for all that we know, and it goes off, everything within a several mile radius will be completely vaporized. Me. You. That city in the distance. All gone. Nothing left but little black spots on the ground and a few centuries worth of radiation. Understand?"

"But..."

Stranger added, "These are the weapons that ended the world a thousand years ago. The world is what it is today because of these godawful things." He pointed a finger towards the bomb to make his point. "This one was probably on its way to that city when it was shot down."

"You're talking about the Mushroom War," said Fionna, unsure of herself.

"The Mushroom War? Is that what you call it?" Stranger thought for a moment before speaking mostly to himself. "I guess that makes sense if you think about it. Records don't survive that long. Hell, the records were burnt up in nuclear fire, but everyone will remember the mushroom clouds."

"Are mushroom clouds delicious?"

Stranger gave up reasoning with the girl.

It was nearly dusk when the four decided to make camp for the night. They had covered much ground during the day, and yet the Boneyard Kingdom remained nowhere to be found. Stranger had the ominous feeling that they had gone in the wrong direction, that all this travel had been for naught.

A stiff wind blew through the desert, bringing with it an icy chill.

Cake shivered. "Something ain't right. My tail is frizzing up."

"What's wrong?" asked Fionna, spinning around in circles to scan the expanse of desert that surrounded them. Stranger looked as well, but saw nothing.

Marshal strummed several notes on his bass, a dark and ominous melody with a sense of rising tension. A wry grin spread across his face, his sharp canines visible in the fading light. "They're here."

The sand beneath Stranger's feet exploded without warning. His body left the ground like a rocket and then remained still in the arid air. A skeleton far larger than any human (living or otherwise) stood before him, it's body covered in an intricate shell of knight's armor, its hand clasped tightly around Stranger's throat. Small sparks of fire burning luminously in the skull's abyssal eyes, their ferocity intensifying as the undead creature spoke.

"Intruders of the Boneyard Kingdom, you will leave at once," warned the Skeleton Knight in a gravely voice that would have sowed fear into the hearts of lesser men. "The Kingdom on the Undead will not be desecrated by the presence of mere mortals. Leave now or join the ranks of the lifeless and the damned."

"I'm already undead, so what you gonna do about that?" remarked Marshal smugly, strumming a few notes as he went. Cake told him to shut up, but the vampire simply laughed. He had nothing to lose.

"Insolent fools," spat the Skelton Knight, throwing Stranger to the ground. Stranger gasped for air, filling his lungs with as much oxygen as he possibly could. "This is your final warning. Leave now or suffer dire consequences."

"Not without Gumball!" roared Fionna, holding her sword at the ready. "Tell us what you did to him or I'll... I'll... I don't know what I'll do, but you probably won't like it!"

The Skeleton Knight bellowed, a sound a churning gravel completely inhuman. "You have made your choice. You will all die."

The undead knight held an open palm over the desert sand, which bulged and ruptured as a long blade shot skyward and into the warrior's hand with a loud _clang_. The creature swung the sword high above its head, ready to fight to the death.

"You guys can take him," affirmed Marshal, floating safely above the ground. "I mean, it's one against three, no way he can win."

Sand exploded around the four heroes, creating a sandstorm the swirled violently as the fine silicate caught hold of the wind. Dozens of skeletons leaped high into the air, emerging forcefully from where they had lain in wait beneath the surface. The small army swarmed around the group, weapons raised, blocking any chance of escape.

"Why the hell did you say that!" screamed Stranger at Marshal.

The vampire only shrugged. "My bad."

The skeleton army rushed forward in attack. Stranger narrowly avoided the clash of swinging blades, retrieving his handgun and firing indiscriminately into the horde of skeletal soldiers. Round after round passed uselessly through their bodies, doing nothing but fueling the anger that coursed through their frayed bones. Stranger swore under his breath, rolling to the side to dodge another attack aimed his way.

Cake and Fionna faced similar problems. The skeletons swarmed like a school of hungry sharks, jabbing and lunging at every opportunity. Before the two could be completely overwhelmed, Cake swept Fionna up off of her feet and high into the air, away from the clattering skeletons and to a clearing free of enemies. The skeletons trailed them without hesitation, but the two were no longer surrounded on all sides.

"Behind you," warned Marshal from the safety of the sky, strumming away on his bass without a care in the world.

Stranger spun and roundhouse kicked the skeleton squarely in the ribcage, knocking it back several feet and into a crowd of more fleshless enemies. Stranger continued through with his spin, turning to face the jumble of skeletons and firing a burst from his handgun in quick succession. Five rounds; five dead skeletons (more dead than before).

Stranger shot a pointed look at Marshal. "And why the hell aren't you helping?"

"I am helping," replied Marshal. "I'm giving you guys a rockin' battle theme."

Stranger muttered unkind things towards the vampire, and turned to face the remainder of the skeletons. A quick count totaled to eighteen (Fionna and Cake) and thirty-five plus the Skeleton Knight (Stranger). Stranger sighed, holstering his weapon.

Things were never easy.

"Accept your fate, mortal," commanded the Skeleton Knight.

"Afraid I can't do that," stated Stranger, snatching up a discarded sword that lay abandoned on the ground at his feet. He swung the blade in his hands. "You _numbskulls _missed out on our song. Before then I would have gladly accepted my fate at the hands of your superior force, but that Stranger's dead and gone."

"You dare challenge me, the Skeleton Knight? The strongest warrior of the Boneyard Kingdom!" A stony laugh escaped the skeleton's mouth. "I will enjoy rending the flesh from your moist bones."

Stranger held up his blade, ready for the challenge. "Good luck with that."

The Skeleton Knight roared and his minions charged, a wave of clanking bones and metal. Stranger preferred firearms to blades, but his ammo supply was far too insufficient to be effective against the horde (he had the bullets, just not the magazines). That, however, did not mean he couldn't hold his own in a sword fight.

Marshal started a newer, faster pace melody with his bass.

The first skeleton swung its rustic blade in a sloppy arc. Stranger easily deflected it with his own blade and brought the sword down diagonally, cleaving the skeleton's head clean off its shoulders.

One down, thirty-four remaining.

The skeletons pressed as a mob, attempting to surround Stranger and achieve victory with their sheer numbers. Stranger kept on the move, not allowing himself to be cornered like a rat. He swung viciously at skeletons who drew to close for comfort, slicing clean through bone and armor.

Four down.

An adventurous skeleton leapt high into the air, slashing downward in a deadly crescent. Stranger spun and brought his blade upward, de-legging the incompetent creature. He continued with his momentum and twisted down, catching another skeleton. A new skeleton challenged him, rushing blindly. Stranger twirled the blade around 180º in his hand. He sidestepped the skeleton, slashing upwards and bringing the blade back down, impaling the undead creature through the spine. The skeleton fell and Stranger took hold of its blade.

Seven down.

"Failure will not be accepted! Kill him now!" yelled the Skeleton Knight, urging his forces to victory.

A blade in each hand, Stranger went head on with the skeletal army. He tore through all that opposed him, kicking and slashing with the might of the fabled Spartans of ancient Greece. One by one the skeletons fell, unable to defeat the force that was Stranger.

Thirteen down.

Stranger swung laterally, catching two skeletons in one swing. Three rushed to avenge their fallen brethren, thrusting angrily at the mortal who refused to die. Stranger ducked and swung, separating their spinal columns. A fourth tried his luck, and was dismembered before one could blink.

Nineteen down.

A skeleton swung high. Stranger caught the blade with his own and swung his other, pulverizing the skeleton's skull with the force of the blow. Another stepped forward, brandishing a spear that did nothing to aid it in battle. More rushed into the fray, and soon met the same demise.

Twenty-six down.

Four skeletons circled around, each holding curved blades and wearing intricately spiked helmets. They were faster than the others, much faster and much more agile. They twisted through the sand like horrific ballerinas, their wicked blades carving through the air. Stranger did all he could to avoid them, sliding and rolling to safety. One rolled after him, aiming its blade at Stranger's legs. He jumped up and brought both feet down atop its head, shattering the already worn skull. A second slid through the sand like a buzz saw. Stranger spun away from the deadly sharp blade and lobbed one of his own, its pointed tip lodging into the chest cavity of the dizzying skeleton. The third and fourth flanked from either side. Stranger dropped to the ground, avoiding their attacks. He rolled, bringing one down to the sand with him. Stranger slashed his blade as he stood, decapitating the creature. The final skeleton attempted one final, reckless attack and too was defeated.

Thirty down.

"Kill him!" shrieked the Skeleton Knight in anger.

"A little late for that." Stranger held his remaining sword at the ready. "A soldier never forgets the thrill of battle. I'm in my element now."

"Thanks to my awesome music," added Marshal.

Stranger rolled his eyes.

A small group of dedicated soldiers attacked Stranger head on, showing no fear as they faced an opponent far superior than themselves. Stranger wasted no time in dispatching them with a flourish of his blade.

Thirty-four down.

One final skeleton stood before Stranger, its blade trembling violently in its bony hands. Stranger took a step forward, the skeleton took one back. Stranger raised his sword. The skeleton dropped its weapon. Gripping its skull, the skeleton twisted its head off with a _pop_, falling to the ground in a heap and saving Stranger the trouble.

Stranger shrugged and looked over to the Skeleton Knight. "I think you need better soldiers. I barely broke a sweat." That was untrue, but taunts didn't have to be true anyway.

The Skeleton Knight roared in fury. "You may defeat my soldiers, but nothing can defeat the Skeleton Knight!" The undead knight held up its massive sword. A spark emanated from the hilt, igniting the entire blade in burning blue flames that clawed high into the air.

Stranger lowered his, non-flaming weapon. "Oh come one! That's just not fair!"

The Skeleton Knight charged forward, moving faster than his large frame led one to believe. He swung ferociously, his blade of fire gouging a brutal scar into the desert. Stranger dove to safety, bringing his sword up and slashing ineffectively against the knight's thick armor. The knight spun hard, smacking Stranger with the hilt of his burning sword. He flew back, skimming across the sand until he stopped nearly a hundred feet from where the skeleton stood.

"You were a fool to challenge me," taunted Skeleton Knight, taking his dear time in approaching the winded Stranger. "For your insolence, your death shall be slow and horrifying."

"Like your mother?" commented Marshal from above.

The Skeleton Knight roared.

"Stop pissing him off," groaned Stranger as he worked his way to his feet, ignoring the pain he felt in his ribs. It had been a _long_ time since something had hit him like that. He had been lucky both times: only a rib or two had been broken.

"Walk it off," encouraged Marshal, floating above the Skeleton Knight. He strummed a tune on his bass that coincided with each step the undead knight took. He had done nothing productive to aid Stranger in his plight.

A malicious grin found its way across Stranger's face.

That was about to change.

"Think fast!" shouted Stranger, hurling his sword at the teenage vampire as if it were a dart and he the dartboard.

Marshal panicked. He twisted away from the flying blade, dropping his axe bass in the process. Rage stained his pale face a deep crimson so that it matched his red plaid shirt. "What the hell, man!"

Stranger ignored him and charged towards the Skeleton Knight.

The axe bass fell through the air, its bladed body landing atop the Skeleton Knight with enough force to embed itself in the undead knight's neck. The powerful skeleton screamed in fury, reaching for the blood red bass.

Stranger tackled Skeleton Knight, gripping the neck of the bass and swinging his full weight on its sturdy frame. The instrument ripped free from the knight's neck with an earsplitting _crack_, damaging several vertebra as it did. A firm grip around the guitar's neck, Stranger swung hard at the knight, gouging a rough line across its armored chest. The knight retaliated with a swing of its flaming blade. Too slow. Stranger spun under the skeleton's sword, impacting the thin-armored legs with the axe bass. Metal and bone shattered, and the Skeleton Knight fell to its knees.

The undead knight tried one last time to raise its sword.

Stranger was faster. He stood before the mighty Skeleton Knight, the barrel of his handgun pressed up into the skeleton's jaw. They both remained still, for how long no one remembers. Stranger had won, and the Skeleton Knight knew it.

The Skeleton Knight relented. "You... you have bested me." The skeleton released its sword and the blade fell to the sand, its flames extinguished. "You are a brave and nobel warrior. A warrior who is, no doubt, merciful."

"You're right." Stranger relented, drawing back his weapon.

Before the Skeleton Knight could relax Stranger had raised his gun and fired whatever ammo remained in the clip, shooting pointblank into the skeleton's chest where its armor could do little to deflect the bullets. The knight fell to his arms, and then to the ground as Stranger stepped down on its back. The Skeleton Knight cursed him to no end, spewing threats that had little weight.

"You were right," said Stranger. "I beat you."

He drew back his foot and kicked the skeleton's head with all his might, sending it flying into the air as if it were a soccer ball. The armored body struggled one last time and fell to the sand, unmoving.

Marshal floated down, ripping his axe bass from Stranger's hands. "Give me that."

Fionna was next to run over, throwing her arms around Stranger in a strong embrace that, quite possibly, made his injury that much worse. "That. Was. Amazing!" she squealed. "Where did you learn to fight like that? You were all cool and the skeletons were all like AHH and then you kicked their butts into next Tuesday!"

Stranger struggled a smile. He was flattered that someone was impressed with his skills. He had always been a top tier soldier during his short stint in the military, though none of his superiors would have said so. There seemed to had been a stigma about being shown up by a kid from some backwater town.

Fionna squeezed tighter, and the pain that shot into Stranger intensified tenfold. "Thank you for helping us," said Fionna softly. "We never would have made it this far without you."

"Hero doesn't look too good," observed the vampire, indifferent. He floated on his back a few feet above the ground, tuning his bass without much care for anything else.

"Honey, I think he's hurt," said Cake, worry tinging her voice.

Fionna released Stranger from her grasp. "Oh my Glob! Are you okay?"

Stranger didn't answer. Instead, he fell back into the sand. The last thing he saw before all went dark was the look of worry etched across Fionna's face.

No final sight could have been better.

* * *

><p><strong>Past Ties<strong>

"There it is. The Boneyard Kingdom."

A ghostly castle stood stark in the greying desert, a thick fog surrounding its walls of stone and mortar, all but hiding a vast graveyard whose headstones stretched on for miles into the distance. Above, clouds as dark as onyx swirled,threatening a rain that would never come to the dry desert land.

"So that's the Boneyard Kingdom? I was expecting more seeing as what we went through to get here," remarked Stranger. Turns out Marshal Lee was more than just a punk rocker. He knew a little medicine as well, and had been able to patch Stranger up. He still hurt like hell, but nowhere near as bad as earlier.

"Thanks again for bringing us here," Fionna said to their newest companion.

"Don't mention it," said Prince Handsome. He was a finely dressed skeleton who had been royalty in a past life, and, more importantly, had no affiliation with the Boneyard Kingdom. They had found him wandering the desert alone, and he had been more than willing to lead them to the kingdom where Prince Gumball was being held hostage.

Everyone waved goodbye to Prince Handsome and the skeleton returned to wandering the desert. They returned to the mission at hand once he had disappeared over a far off dune.

"That place has too be crawling with creepies," stated Cake the Cat, using terminology that Stranger would not had exactly used himself.

"Gumball is in there," muttered Fionna. "We can't back down now."

Stranger shook his head. "I didn't come this far, nearly drown, and fight an army of skeletons just to give up. I could have stayed at home and did that. No. We do this or die trying."

Marshal strummed his bass. "That's the spirit. All or nothing."

"Still, it doesn't hurt to plan ahead," added Stranger.

"Don't wimp out on me man. All or nothing of GTFO."

"You may be immortal but that doesn't mean we all are," pointed out Cake in a condescending tone.

Stranger had a plan in mind, or at least the inklings of one. Minutes later they were inside the castle, having snuck in successfully (skeletons tended not to be very attentive to their surroundings).

"I hope they find PG," worried Fionna, absentmindedly twirling her hanging strand of blond hair with a finger. She and Stranger had paired off to go after Skeleton Prince. Cake and Marshall Lee would rescue Gumball.

Stranger was somewhat glad to not be partnered alongside Marshall, seeing as how _helpful_ he had been during their skirmish against Skeleton Knight. Cake had been even less thrilled to join forces with the vampire, though Stranger sensed it was from a deeper resentment rather than him merely not being useful when he needed to be.

"It's deserted," observed Stranger, trying to get Fionna's mind off of Gumball. The dusty halls they had walked down had all been deserted, this one being no exception.

"Maybe they all went to lunch?" she suggested. Stranger could tell by her tone that she was not joking. Oh, to be young and naïve.

"I don't think they went to lunch," began Stranger. "Maybe..."

The floor fell out from beneath the two. They hung motionless in the air for several heartbeats before tumbling downward and into the dark abyss where the wooden floorboards had once been. A terrified scream filled the air as they fell. Stranger knew not if it was his own or Fionna's, or perhaps maybe a combination of the two.

Or maybe it was neither of them (it was hard to be sure in a land as strange as the Land of Aaa).

Stranger opened his eyes sometime later. He lay on e his side, his arms bound behind his back with a rough rope that dug into his skin even through his coat. Fionna lay beside him, just now stirring as well. She stared blankly at him for a moment, and then branched out to gaping at their surroundings.

"What the...?"

The two lay in the center of a long stone room, high windows of colored glass standing tall on either side. A crystal chandelier swung light from above, its many facets of glass fracturing the dusty light into equally dusty rainbows that shone down to a thick rug heavy with time. Skeletons stood at attention along the walls, each armed with metal tipped pikes that ended in conical points. The skeletons stared ahead, unmoving, as if they were truly dead. A large oak door marked one far end of the room; a ornate fireplace that burned brightly the other. Seated before the fireplace, surrounded by the woodwork of a baroque throne, was a skeleton dressed in shabby finery and with a golden crown sitting atop its head.

"Skeleton Prince!" gasped Fionna.

A skeletal crier stood beside the Skeleton Prince, his colorful clothes (which conflicted with the overall drab interior) hung limply off of his emaciated frame, swaying somewhat in a chill draft. It spoke in a high voice many would not assume for a skeleton.

"Intruders," the crier decried, "you have been caught unlawfully entering the Boneyard Kingdom! This is a crime that is punishable by" – dramatic pause – "death!"

"Shut your mouth, you stupid skeleton!" cried Fionna. She did her best to face the Skeleton Prince from where she lay on the dusty rug. "Give us back Gumball or Stranger will kick your butts!"

"I can't really do that at the moment," whispered Stranger to Fionna.

She whispered back. "Yeah, but they don't know that."

"Silence!" ordered the crier on behalf of the prince, who remained static where he sat on the throne. "You shall be executed immediately!"

Several skeletons stepped forward, dragging Fionna and Stranger up to their feet. They pressed the tips of their pikes against the backs of the two humans, forcing the two to step forward to where another skeleton awaited, a bloodstained executioner's axe held tightly in its bony grasp.

"Any final words?" asked the crier, not expecting much.

Fionna opened her mouth to yell some more, but instead the heavy oak doors blew open with enough force to separate them from the thick doorframe embedded within the stone. Standing behind the chaos, the dust settling around him, was Marshal Lee, his axe bass resting snugly against his shoulder.

"I think _he_ has something to say," Marshal said in a conceited manner.

A young man then entered the room, shadowed on either side by Marshal and Cake. His skin was a far too healthy shade pink, a color that complimented the paler royal finery that he wore. Resting atop his head, shining even in the dull light, was a golden crown.

"Gumball!" exclaimed Fionna.

The skeleton soldiers raised their weapons, but none dare approach the prince of the Candy Kingdom. An aura surrounded him that made the skeletons uneasy. Stranger could sense it as well. Gumball had something up his sleeve.

A scowl came to the Skeleton Prince's face (or lack thereof).

"That's not the Skeleton Prince!" accused Prince Gumball, pointing a finger defiantly towards the prince of the Boneyard Kingdom and ruler of the undead.

"Blasphemy!" spat the crier. "Kill the liars! Kill them at once!"

Gumball remained unfazed. "Then how do you explain this!"

The sound of shuffling feet turned the heads of all in the throne room. If skeletons could gasp, they would have then and there.

Standing in the ruined doorway was the Skeleton Prince.

The skeletal crier was at a lost for words. It bumbled for some and immediately lost them, looking back and forth between the Skeleton Prince sitting atop the throne and the Skeleton Prince standing within the doorway. A look of disdain crossed the face of the seated prince as he stared down at his doppelganger.

The skeletons that held their weapons raised to the humans needed no command. They slashed downwards, slicing the ropes off with one clean cut. Free, Stranger reached for his gun (skeletons were very attentive to many things) and trained it on the false Skeleton Prince sitting on the throne.

"So who is this?" questioned Stranger, his mind in a jumble. He hated situations such as these with a passion.

"Looks like I've been found out," groaned the fake Skeleton Prince, standing. A cloud of black smoke billowed around his form, blocking the fake prince from sight. When the smoke cleared a skeleton no longer stood where it once had. Instead, it was a gaunt man with dark hair and even darker eyes, a cloak wrapped tightly around his thin frame.

"Oh my Glob!" shouted Fionna in shock. "It's... it's... actually, I don't know who it is?"

The strange man answered in a booming voice that shook the windows and the stone walls themselves. "I am from a land too distant to describe! A world only seen in one's nightmares! I am the great and powerful wizard, Kevin!"

Stranger stood silent for a moment, puzzled. "Kevin? Your name is Kevin?"

The wizard named Kevin looked down at Stranger. "Yes. Why? Is that strange?"

Stranger shrugged. "I was just expecting something..."

"What? What were you expecting?" pressed Kevin.

"I don't know. Something a little more... dramatic?"

"Kevin can be a very menacing name!" defended the wizard with a cry.

Marshal Lee shook his head. "Menacing to a Soft Person maybe."

"Well you're... you're... you're just jealous of all my awesome powers!"

Marshal strummed a note on his bass. "No I'm not."

"Why did you do this?" Fionna asked, interrupting the repartee.

Kevin seemed shocked by the question. "Why? WHY? I'll tell you why!"

"Please do," muttered Marshal.

"It was a long, long time ago. I was a only young boy then, attending the prestigious Land of Aaa Elementary School. It was my dream to attend that school, to walk within its glamorous halls. There was only one thing I loved more in the world, my limited addition Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant number two pencil. Then one day, two boys asked me if they could borrow my pencil. I was young. I wanted to make friends. So I let them use it. And they broke it! THEY BROKE IT! Do you know who those two were?"

"I can guess if you want," said Stranger, pretty sure he knew the answer.

"It was Prince Gumball and Skeleton Prince! I have waited years for my revenge, my hate growing more and more with each passing day! And my plan would have succeeded if it weren't for you meddling kids and you bothersome cat!"

"I've heard enough!" stated the skeleton crier. "Take him to the dungeon!"

The skeleton soldiers closed as one on Kevin, their pikes raised.

"You will never catch me, the great and powerful..."

A single shot rung out in the throne room. A 9mm round struck Kevin in the shoulder, sending him reeling back into the throne. A look of disbelief crossed his face. "You... you shot me!"

Stranger holstered his gun. "Oops. My finger slipped.

The skeletons led Kevin away to the dungeons as he spat insult after insult and threat after threat. The real Skeleton Prince said nothing as he shambled over to his throne, gnawing slightly on the wood as he sat. The crier, on behalf of the real prince, formally thanked thanked the four heroes for their help.

"No problem," waved off Marshal. "Just be glad I'm not charging this time 'round. You could never afford my rates."

Fionna ran over to Gumball and hugged him forcefully. He hugged her back and said, "Thank you for saving me."

Fionna shook her head. "You saved us as well. And besides, we never would have made it this far without Stranger's help."

Gumball looked over to the foreigner. "Yes. Stranger, I have not forgotten about our arrangement. You will have your boat and then some, as a way of thanks for all that you've have done, both for me and for the Candy Kingdom."

Stranger nodded, too happy to say a word.

* * *

><p><strong>Bon Voy-Aaa-ge <strong>

The salty air blew stiffly against Stranger. The round, yellow sun shone brightly overhead, its warm light glistening off of the blue waters of the sea. The boat made of hard confectionary bobbed against the gently waves, its bow pointed eastward and its interiors filled to the brim with gifts. Behind, the Land of Aaa loomed, a continent of mystery and adventurer long lost amid the vast ocean.

Stranger's time spent in the strange land had been eventful, to say the least, though he did not necessarily hate the world of Aaa itself. He had made good, albeit strange, friends during his brief stay, and he planned to return someday. He would bring his friends, his family, or anyone willing who cared for the journey.

He had set out to find a land of fame and wealth, but he had instead found something much, much better: the Land of Aaa.

Now he began a new journey. A quest to return to the land that was his.

Hopefully, the _different dimension theory_ remained just a theory, the simple imaginings of a homesick man.

**THE END**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: If you're reading this, then I applaud you (this is a somewhat long story). Hope you enjoyed the story. Now I would like yo ask you, yes you, the reader, for you're help. I want to begin a new, longer term story, but I have no idea what to do. I have several ideas in my head, but, alas, I suck at making choices. So I thought I'd let you, my audience, give me your input.**

**The story ideas I have are:  
>- Ace Combat<br>****- Armored Core  
>- Fallout (Sequel to my other fanfic, WASTELAND)<br>- Halo (Tried before, but always come across problems)  
>- Star Wars (I think this one would be a bad idea at the moment)<br>- CoD/AC Crossover (Would be a major undertaking) **

**Or, it you want, I can bring Stranger back for a third round. If that's the case, Ooo or Aaa?**

**Thanks in advance if you take your time to aid me in my time of need. Thanks for reading, hope you'll enjoy my future work, whatever it may be. **


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